November 3, 2017 • 567,668 notes

nayx:

you: are you okay?

me: *looks off into the distance*

me: in theory.

(via thebootydiaries)

August 1, 2017 • 363,484 notes
cashier: do you want the receipt?
me: yas bitch tell me everything
June 10, 2017 • 18,151 notes
Person A: I am completely self motivated. If I want to do something, I'll do it. Nobody can force me to start or stop.
Person B: There are two ways to get me motivated: Food and Spite. I've gotten this far on those two things.
April 6, 2017 • 338,171 notes

dapperdragon:

shitty-dad:

They don’t give up so easily nowadays

“i’m gonna get what i want” what an entitled asshole

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed-deacti)

March 29, 2017 • 222,178 notes

aviculor:

gomjabbar:

it’s really funny how many people on here make jokes about anti-vaxxers and flat earthers but they practice astrology at the same time even though it’s literally the same pseudo-scientific bullshit

Looking up your horoscope doesn’t give kids polio.

(via fuckinjaeger)

March 29, 2017 • 169,908 notes
Teacher: So where do you see yourself in 5 years
Me: Well, after university I see myself in huge debt
March 29, 2017 • 316,522 notes

(via fuckyahumor)

March 20, 2017 • 572,644 notes

(via fuckinjaeger)

March 9, 2017 • 263,206 notes

(via confirmance)

March 9, 2017 • 266,513 notes

oomshi:

umbreeons:

my vagina is tingling…this can only mean one thing…

image

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed-deacti)